You Know Not!

Like many people, I am signed up for CNN’s breaking news alert. I like to stay informed, it’s a good thing, yadada yadada. This morning, I got a notice, and I duly clicked it open to read that Newt Gingrich is not running for president. Did you get that. NOT running. Call me a weirdo, but I hardly consider this news. I mean, if I suddenly announced that I was NOT RUNNING for president, would they send out emails to thousands of people? Umm, no. Not anymore than they’d send one when Ingersoll Rand air tools go on sale at the local hardware store. NOT running is NOT news.

I have an announcement to make, please pay attention. On October 13, I am going to get on up off my home furniture and get me some exercise. I’m organizing and participating in The Alzheimer’s Association Memory Walk for my little town. I just know I have your full support!!! If you don’t live near me, you can still help! Wanna know how?

Click the banner to donate!

See? Easy-Peasy!

And, also. If you used to call here everyday and get to talk to a real person, and now you still call everyday, but you get sent to voice mail, you can take that as a real clue that I am avoiding you. Voice mail is my equivalent to closing the Blinds on Halloween, while you watch a movie and eat all the candy yourself. Just sayin’

Oh, one more thing: I never check my voice mail. Ever.

el-oh, my name is STEvan, and I am calling you on behaf off EmElAx DireCK. Do you haf health issuance? Why do you not want the health issuance? And I am in Flooreedah.

And then when I said “I am from Mars”, he told me he was sorry.

I don’t want it. If I can’t figure out what it is you are selling, I don’t want it. Stamps are issued, health is insured, and if you really expect me to believe you are in Flooreedah, get a real estate agent and move there. Call me back when I can’t cut your accent with my paring knife.

But I do thank you for the 10 minutes of entertainment I had stringing you along, STEvan.

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that YKN mostly stands for You KNOW! that she really didn’t write that crap. I mean……….ok. I can cover a lot of ground here, everything from land for sale to jello, but I just can’t seem to pull together a cohesive blog. It frustrating.

And the most frustrating part is that I seem to be always on the cusp of figuring it out. It’s like tasting a banana without eating one.